College.

College is officially started. Well kinda. Classes haven't started yet, until Wednesday, but orientation and meetings have been controlling my life for the past 4 days. I know once classes actually start, I'm going to be SO busy with homework and other stuff that I wont even have time to think about how much I'm not handling this whole "changing" thing very well. But for now, this kinda sucks.
Its like everything is very different, yet painfully the same. I havent seen my best friends enough at all and thats the worst part. I feel like I don't do anything because the people that I regularly hang out with, theyre gone. Im scared that my classes are going to be WAY to much for me to handle. I need a job, desperately. I'm 18 years old and I live in the same tiny bedroom that I have been in since I was born. I think thats really the weirdest part. I hear all of these stories from my friends that are away at college and I just feel like "why am I not out doing all of that?" Dont get me wrong, my parents are my best friends and I love being at my house but I just feel like I'm missing out on the whole college experience. Actually, I have no idea how I feel. One day I'm like "SWEET! My own room. My own bathroom. My own space. PERFECT!" but other day I'm like "Roomate? that would be fun. Freedom? That would be GREAT! Growing up? I guess that be okay." I just dont know what to think about this whole thing. Blah. Blah. Blah. Changes are no fun. I hated high school and wouldn't go back if someone paid me, but why can't the past summer just last forever (but plus Kacie) and why can't I just be 18 forever?

Farewell Summertime!

So the summer before my freshmen year in college is coming to an end. It has DEFINITELY been the best one so far. So many amazing things have happened I couldn't even begin to name them ALL, but I can name the things that topped the list. I spent a week in Blythewood, SC, which to a person who has never been to Salkehatchie, that may not sound to exciting but words could not describe how amazing that week was and how much I needed it! I experienced even more hilarious and crazyyy adventures with my best friend, Emily. I spent countless hours with the best youth group/best friends ever. I went to the beach with some of my best friends and had a wonderful time. I visited my best friend Kacie in Charleston and that made me miss her even more. I met a guy who is seriously like my twin and has become one of my reallllly good friends very quickly, like it scares me how similar we are. I did something that I've told myself I would never do and didn't regret it at all and actually can not wait to do it again! mhmm If I could do it again, I'd do it the same! :)
Now its time for the hard part. College move-in day in very soon, that means that the majority of my best friends will be leaving me. I already lost one, now its time to say goodbye to the rest of them. I know the goodbye is only temporary, but still, this is the hardest thing that I had ever had to do. August 15th, Emily goes to Carolina and Courtney to Clemson. That day will seriously be the worst ever. I can't even begin to imagine right now exactly how hard it will be. What are you suppose to do when your entire support system isn't just 15 minutes away from you? I know that Ill make new friends and of course I want to do so, but I don't want anyone to replace my best friends. I don't want for anyone to replace me in their lives either, Selfish right? Yeah! The only thing thats holding me together right now is the next few days, and the friends that are staying, and the fact that I'll always have some sort of communication. Wow. Even putting this into words is hard and nearly impossible. But I'm thinking you have the point? Now Im going to go look at pictures then get some sleep. Oh, by the way, the summer brings my insomnia! I have been up till at least 3 every night this month! Ha. Fun Fun! Goodbye, my friends. :)

Summer 2009! You will forever be engraved in my heart, my mind, my soul. <3