College.

College is officially started. Well kinda. Classes haven't started yet, until Wednesday, but orientation and meetings have been controlling my life for the past 4 days. I know once classes actually start, I'm going to be SO busy with homework and other stuff that I wont even have time to think about how much I'm not handling this whole "changing" thing very well. But for now, this kinda sucks.
Its like everything is very different, yet painfully the same. I havent seen my best friends enough at all and thats the worst part. I feel like I don't do anything because the people that I regularly hang out with, theyre gone. Im scared that my classes are going to be WAY to much for me to handle. I need a job, desperately. I'm 18 years old and I live in the same tiny bedroom that I have been in since I was born. I think thats really the weirdest part. I hear all of these stories from my friends that are away at college and I just feel like "why am I not out doing all of that?" Dont get me wrong, my parents are my best friends and I love being at my house but I just feel like I'm missing out on the whole college experience. Actually, I have no idea how I feel. One day I'm like "SWEET! My own room. My own bathroom. My own space. PERFECT!" but other day I'm like "Roomate? that would be fun. Freedom? That would be GREAT! Growing up? I guess that be okay." I just dont know what to think about this whole thing. Blah. Blah. Blah. Changes are no fun. I hated high school and wouldn't go back if someone paid me, but why can't the past summer just last forever (but plus Kacie) and why can't I just be 18 forever?