Piedmont Interstate Fair 2009!

College.

College is officially started. Well kinda. Classes haven't started yet, until Wednesday, but orientation and meetings have been controlling my life for the past 4 days. I know once classes actually start, I'm going to be SO busy with homework and other stuff that I wont even have time to think about how much I'm not handling this whole "changing" thing very well. But for now, this kinda sucks.
Its like everything is very different, yet painfully the same. I havent seen my best friends enough at all and thats the worst part. I feel like I don't do anything because the people that I regularly hang out with, theyre gone. Im scared that my classes are going to be WAY to much for me to handle. I need a job, desperately. I'm 18 years old and I live in the same tiny bedroom that I have been in since I was born. I think thats really the weirdest part. I hear all of these stories from my friends that are away at college and I just feel like "why am I not out doing all of that?" Dont get me wrong, my parents are my best friends and I love being at my house but I just feel like I'm missing out on the whole college experience. Actually, I have no idea how I feel. One day I'm like "SWEET! My own room. My own bathroom. My own space. PERFECT!" but other day I'm like "Roomate? that would be fun. Freedom? That would be GREAT! Growing up? I guess that be okay." I just dont know what to think about this whole thing. Blah. Blah. Blah. Changes are no fun. I hated high school and wouldn't go back if someone paid me, but why can't the past summer just last forever (but plus Kacie) and why can't I just be 18 forever?

Farewell Summertime!

So the summer before my freshmen year in college is coming to an end. It has DEFINITELY been the best one so far. So many amazing things have happened I couldn't even begin to name them ALL, but I can name the things that topped the list. I spent a week in Blythewood, SC, which to a person who has never been to Salkehatchie, that may not sound to exciting but words could not describe how amazing that week was and how much I needed it! I experienced even more hilarious and crazyyy adventures with my best friend, Emily. I spent countless hours with the best youth group/best friends ever. I went to the beach with some of my best friends and had a wonderful time. I visited my best friend Kacie in Charleston and that made me miss her even more. I met a guy who is seriously like my twin and has become one of my reallllly good friends very quickly, like it scares me how similar we are. I did something that I've told myself I would never do and didn't regret it at all and actually can not wait to do it again! mhmm If I could do it again, I'd do it the same! :)
Now its time for the hard part. College move-in day in very soon, that means that the majority of my best friends will be leaving me. I already lost one, now its time to say goodbye to the rest of them. I know the goodbye is only temporary, but still, this is the hardest thing that I had ever had to do. August 15th, Emily goes to Carolina and Courtney to Clemson. That day will seriously be the worst ever. I can't even begin to imagine right now exactly how hard it will be. What are you suppose to do when your entire support system isn't just 15 minutes away from you? I know that Ill make new friends and of course I want to do so, but I don't want anyone to replace my best friends. I don't want for anyone to replace me in their lives either, Selfish right? Yeah! The only thing thats holding me together right now is the next few days, and the friends that are staying, and the fact that I'll always have some sort of communication. Wow. Even putting this into words is hard and nearly impossible. But I'm thinking you have the point? Now Im going to go look at pictures then get some sleep. Oh, by the way, the summer brings my insomnia! I have been up till at least 3 every night this month! Ha. Fun Fun! Goodbye, my friends. :)

Summer 2009! You will forever be engraved in my heart, my mind, my soul. <3

Salkehatchie 2009!

"I'll never look at a run down house the same way again!"

- Ben Linnerud

That is a perfect way to describe how you feel after a week like this. After you spend a week with a family who is trying, trying to hard, but is just low on luck. A family who is closer than any family I have ever met. Salkehatchie is the best possible way that you could ever learn about how other people live. You're surrounded by the greatest people ever for a week and you realize how amazing your life is. Until you experience something like this, you go through life without any thought of how lucky you really are. I could never imagine spending a week of my summer doing anything but this.

Waking up at 5:30 and being on your site by 7 and not leaving until 5 that afternoon (or much much later on Fridays) and not sleeping until midnight is definitely not easy for me but its well worth it all. I met the best new people and got even closer to my best friends. We had a lot of bad things happen outside of camp and I know for sure that if we had been anywhere else but there during all of it, we would have cracked. We were all completely surrounded by the love of others and our faith for The Lord. The fun we had could not be completely formed into words but can be shown though pictures :)

One of the best weeks of my life. Eight days that I will NEVER forget! :)

Sweet, Sweet Summer!

Hi there. Its summer. :)

I just got back from the beach... one of the best weekends of my life!
Im going to Salkehatchie in 3 days! I CAN NOT WAIT!

yay! yay! yay!

Ill write more later. Maybe. I'm busy now entertaining myself with my NEW COMPUTER.


oh man, my life. I'm loving it. <3

See you later.

During your last semester in high school, everyone is figuring out where they're going to college, what they're doing over the summer, and how they're going to handle their friends being miles away. Well, for me, the first two were easy choices, I'm having the best summer ever and going to a local college and staying at home, but the third one, yeah, that's the hardest. So what are you suppose to do when you find out that one of your best friends is moving on the other side of the state, but not at the end of summer, at the beginning. You've pictured the perfect summer with her being a part of it. How are you suppose to say "see you later" to her so soon?
Sure, I've planned on missing her for awhile now but not so soon. Now I'm planning when and how exactly I'm going to go visit her. Often. That's all I know so far.

Dear Kacie! :)
I love you so so so much. I'm so proud of how strong you have been through all of this. You are going to do such great things over the next four years and I absolutely can not wait to see it all. As we have said, this isn't "goodbye" its "see you later" of course. However long we go without seeing each other, when we do see each other, it will be 10 times as much fun. Abby, Court, and I will be taking so many road trips to come and see you. I can't wait. Once you get down there and settled, you're going to have SO much fun! I'm going to miss you so much but I know that Ill be seeing you more than we could ever imagine. :)

<3

Diabetic Coma.

So considering the mood that I have been in lately, I definitely in need of a good story. Here it goes, a memory, one of my favorites.

Okay so it doesn't really start out to happy but about three years ago, my great grandfather passed away. It was a really hard time in my life, I was 15 and had never really had anyone that close to me die and I was definitely scared, especially being in the hospital/hospice with him all the time. But now to the funny part. The day that he died, my mom, grandma, and myself had been there all day and around dinner time a nurse came in his hospice room and was talking about how she was sure that he was hungry and wished that she could give him some food and then she said "Well, I'm sure you know that God's favorite food is pizza and ice cream and there is no such thing as a diabetic coma in Heaven, so you'll be able to eat as much as you want there!" Papa had a very good sense of humor and was completely in touch with the fact that he wasn't going to be around much longer, so the nurse felt comfortable with saying this to him. But I thought I was the only one in the room who heard the comment at the time. Papa had been completely out of it for days, grabbing at things in the air, talking about playing basketball in high school yesterday, telling all the nurses that I was his daughter and my mom was his grand daughter, so I didn't think he understood. About an hour later, my aunt arrived and my dad came to pick me up since I had school the next morning. We all went out in the hall to talk for a second and I hadn't really been talking to Papa very much just because I was scared or something? I don't know. But something told me I needed to go tell him goodbye even though he was sound asleep. As I walked in the room, and said "Bye Papa. I love you. Ill see you tomorrow," I heard him mumble under his breath with a laugh "ha. diabetic coma haha." I started cracking up. It was completely random but I was just glad to hear that he had actually been listening to what we had been saying to him for the past week.
So I go home and realize that I left my book bag in my moms car so my grandmother and aunt brought it to me, leaving my mom ( the strongest person in the family, and probably the world at that ) alone at the hospital with Papa. He died 10 minutes after they left. Ha. He knew that my grandma couldn't handle being there so he held on until she left. So like him.
I thought about that randomly today. I pray to him the most when I'm in the need for a smile and it worked today. Hahaha I can totally see him saying something like "Hey Nik. Cheer up. Remember that one time that I made you laugh? Remember? yeahh!"
I love you Papa Paul.



I will surely be writing again tomorrow about something else because I am in desperate need to get it off of my chest. But Ill leave with this, I love Kacie Nicole Hines. A lot ! <3

A Best Friend.

Well, I have a lot of best friends. So what exactly would you call a person who is a step above the "best friend?" The person who has been by your side since as long as you can remember and has been like your sister through everything despite living in two different houses. Well whatever you call it, thats what Ive got.

With everything that weve been though and everything that we have done together, I can completely say that NO ONE knows me better. Through the past 9 years, she has been my whole entire heart and I couldnt tell you the last time that we went more than a week without speaking to each other. No one will ever be able to replace her and no one will ever even come close to meaning as much to me what she does.

This kind of friend is someone that has faults but those are some of the things that you love the most. This kind of friend is someone who can piss you off SO much but then all you can say to them is "Whatever, I love you." This kind of friend is someone who can be miles away and make you feel like theyre right next to you.

Miles away... about 97 to be exact.

Thats how far Ill be from mine this fall and for the next four years. College brings you so many new adventures and Im pretty sure that the biggest one that I will face will be having to be so far away from her. Im so scared that no matter how positive we are about the situation, we never know what can happen. I know that things will change when shes gone but my only hope is that when she comes home, everything will be the same. I cant imagine losing someone that I love this much.

Were definitely fighters, thats for sure. Weve pushed through everything that has ever come between us. So I know that means that we can get through this. Deep down inside, I know nothing will be different. I know that we will always have that special bond that we have always had. From 8 to 80.

Im so glad that this last year has really proved that to me. Sure I always knew that she was my best friend but now I seriously don't know what I will do without her. Im so glad that my we spend our senior year becoming even closer These next three months are going to be full of so many laughs and good times and I can not wait. Just more memories to put in our book. :)

The countless gallons of gas that we will use visiting each other. The countless amounts of text messages every day. The countless number of phone minutes that well use. Wow. Im scared but I cant wait to see what the future has in store for us.

I love you Emily Porterfield
<3

In Living Color !

So is it really my fault that I should have been born in the 60's?

Well... just because I wear to much tiedye and I think that the peace sign is WAY more than just a recent fashion statment, doesnt mean that Im a hippie. Or does it?

" Hippie: (n; pl) A person who opposes and rejects many of the conventional standards and customs of society, especially one who advocates extreme liberalism in sociopolitical attitudes and lifestyles. "

- Answers.com

Ha. okay, so maybe?

Hello There :)

I guess you could say that Im new to the whole "blogging" thing. When in reality, I've written more blog entries then I could count on my fingers and toes. This time is going to be different. My life is about to change, a whole lot, and I feel like having a place to write it all down will help me transition from one thing to another. I graduate from high school in 10 days. HOLY COW! I seriously thought that I would NEVER get to this point. NEVER EVER EVER! And if I ever did, I would be the person who runs across the stage, grabs my diploma (cover), and then runs straight out of the nearest exit to my car and never look back at Dorman High School again. Well at least thats what I thought until the beginning of my last semester. I love all of my classes. I love all of my teachers. I love everyone in my classes. I love chorus. Pretty much, if all of my semesters of high school had been even close to as great as this, I would have LOVED high school so much. I definitely didn't love high school. A school full of crazy administrators, fake girls, rednecks, and cliche boring teachers... yeah, really not my thing. My friends were the only thing that got me through and theyre what Im going to miss the most.
When I look back on my life, school in general definitely is NOT one of the focal points. My best friends, my church, my youth group, my photography, Dorman Chorus, my family. Thats what Ill always remember. So Im here to relive it all. Ill talk about my day, my vacations, and my memories. Along with that, Ill be posting some of my photography. Considering that is what the majority of my recent life revolves around, you will probablly see a lot of that. Im not a professional, but Im working on becoming one. :)

If you read these, I love you.

-Nikki-